Damn, Liquid, All Over the Floor.

Many years ago, a console came out called the 'Playstation'. I caught wind of this invention through my Grandparents who told me of some distant cousin of mine who had this new amazing console. Being the stubborn child I was, I insisted to them that it was rubbish and the Sega Mega Drive was far superior. Mainly because I didn't have a Playstation and also, well, because the name just sounded rather silly.

Anyone who knows me now will inform you of my love of Sony. I'm not as devoted as a friend of mine, who I actually believe would lay down his life should someone threaten to vandalise a PS3, but I do enjoy them as a company, from their consoles to their MP3 players. Anyway. I'm getting a little bit distracted here. I'm here today to talk to you about the behemouth that is Metal Gear Solid.

Now, until recently, I had never played Metal Gear, although I still considered myself a fan. I know what happened in number one. I watched the last two hours of two. Three almost past me by, but I had a muck around for an hour or so. Four sits proudly on my shelf next to the other two PS3 games I could afford, mainly because of Metal Gear Online which is just pure genius and kicks Call of Duty 4 out of the park. The thing is, they're amazing games. And the story is epic. And I love Hideo Kojima. The man's a legend. But I just don't get on with the games. They're too long (says the man who plays every Final Fantasy) and the game play is pointless. With every game, I end up sitting down with my friend (the Sony enthusiast I mentioned earlier) and asking him to recount the epic tale. And so I have a proposal. Mr Kojima takes his wonderful games, and turns then into films. Which is quite obviously how they were meant to be in the first place.

You see, the problem is that he has too much to tell. There are so many damn cutscenes. In Final Fantasy, you play the game with the intention of getting to the next beautiful five minutes of film. In MGS, you watch the cutscenes to get to the next ten minutes of gameplay! I like the gameplay. Not as much as other games, but it's worth playing. And I don't want to miss the story so refuse to skip the cutscenes. It leaves me in some strange Catch-22 where I'm bewildered, confused and then playing Drake's Fortune just to make myself comfortable with the world again. Please Mr Kojima. Make them into a film. I love your little world, but I want a computer game, not some strange hybrid...